A Stream of Thought Update

I haven’t written in a long time. I’ve thought about it a lot, constantly, but I quickly end up going into a mental spiral about it.

“Blogging” is a tough game, if that’s even what I’m doing. I’ve heard all the advice, I’ve read the numerous articles that break it all down into digestible bullet points. They make it seem like such an easy process to get your website to just take off.

I stumble over ideas of what to write about. I wonder if anyone will care to read it. I ponder the best times/dates that I’m supposed to be posting stuff. I consider social media graphic creation. I acknowledge the amount of research I should be doing per topic, it shouldn’t just be full opinion all the time.

And that’s how the spiral begins, anxiety takes over and I feel too overwhelmed to do anything at all.

So I thought, maybe if I just write something, a senseless train of thought, it might break the hiatus in my mind and help get me back on track.

I wrote a novel based on my past experiences with depression/anxiety, but that’s not to say that mental illness is entirely in my past. I still struggle, I am still struggling. I barely feel equipped to answer questions of advice for those struggling.

All you can do is the next right thing, as Ana says.

Turns out that essentially juggling two careers is tough. Shocking! I love my “day job” in VFX compositing just as much as writing. But unfortunately, the hours are kinda sucky and don’t leave much time outside of it. And even if there are a few hours in the evening, I am often too mentally drained to utilise them very well.

Sigh. I should be super hyped about my debut novel publishing in A MONTH, but I’m just drained. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining either, hell no. I don’t know what I’m trying to say, I’m just saying. That’s one piece of mental health advice for you. It doesn’t matter if your feelings make sense, you still need to express them.

I’m trying. This feels a little better. I’ll write a proper update and other stuff soon.

If you read through this ramble, thank you and I’m sorry. If you’ve any advice at all on the juggling of life, do let me know.


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